i was just getting mad about this a minute ago
I just wish my body would cooperate…
OkCupid message: you wear panties?
That’s it. That’s the message.
I’ll start off by saying that I hope this post won’t upset my IBD followers, particularly the ones that are having a harder time with their disease than I am right now. I know how incredibly lucky I am to be at Harvard Law School, if not thriving than at least keeping my head above water as well as most of my peers. I’m able to go out with friends, drink, and exercise like an able-bodied person would.
After a year of not traveling (and canceling two trips due to my Crohn’s disease), I went on a Spring Break outside the country, and have a trip to Hong Kong planned this summer with my job. Most importantly, I haven’t had a flare since I started Remicade last April; I’m technically in remission, although I’ve still had to work through Remicade side effects and issues with my vision related to IBD. I am grateful for my relative health every day, and I know my situation will not always be this good.
On the other hand, though, I’ve been coming up against some limits lately that are making me feel really frustrated and angry, especially when I start to think about how this illness will weigh me down for the rest of my life.
I have a really long summer break after my job ends (5-6 weeks), and I told my dear friend from home I would go on a trip to Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands with her during this time. We’ve wanted to travel together since I had to cancel a trip to Turkey when I was in the hospital, I have another friend who lives there and can show us around, neither of us have been to South America, we both have the money for a fairly expensive trip, etc.
Then two of my best friends from law school asked me yesterday to go on a bar trip with them to Turkey (which has really become my white whale at this point in time) and Jordan. I’ve already been to Jordan, and I’ve already happily committed to Ecuador, but I thought the dates might work with the conference and my other trip if I just joined them for the Turkey part of their trip. Indeed, they did. I got excited. I started looking at flights, pricing out a trip, looking at the blogs I had visited before I had to cancel my trip to Turkey the last time, imagining the food I would eat. Yes, it would be expensive to take the two trips, but I’m making real money for the first time in my life and I might as well spend it on amazing trips with some of my closest friends! I am going to have a month of amazing travel!
Oh, wait. No. That can’t happen. Actually, there’s a possibility that none of it can. Because I have to get a Remicade infusion right in the middle of these days. Fuck everything.
I know I am being overly dramatic and pessimistic. In the back of my mind, I know some sort of trip will work out, and it’ll probably be great. But this realization really just drove home how I will always carry the weight of this disease with me, even when I’m technically in remission. Hours (or even days, when I’m really stressed and busy with other stuff) will go by without me remembering that I have Crohn’s, but then when I do remember it’s like getting hit with a ton of bricks. Or maybe something less hyperbolic, like a cold gust of air. Sometimes I think you can actually see me react physically to this information settling back into my brain.
Police officers in Norfolk, Virginia, responded to reports that a lion was on the loose. They urgently contacted the local zoo to see if any of their lions had escaped. But it turned out that the animal which terrified residents was actually a labradoodle named Charles, which had been shaved to look like a lion. Picture: SWNS.com
where’s the fucking rent
“Yes, hello, I’m from the FBI. I would like to ask you some questions about your daughter’s death.”
“But I already talked to the FBI.”
“MOM JARED’S LOCKED HIMSELF OUT AGAIN”